How did the Big Love journey begin?

Four years into my celebrant career I lead my first funeral service. It was a heart-breaking, gut wrenching, sacred experience that I will never forget. The experience sits in a very special place in my heart-right where it belongs.

And I knew at that time I wasn’t ready to do more for a while. I was asked many times over the years and knew that I was not in a place to serve grieving families properly, so I said no. For an ‘over-helper’ like me, saying no was a pretty big deal. Any other ‘over-helpers’ out there?

Growing up, death was a normal thing for me…simply part of life. And, due to my religious upbringing, death was not just something to NOT be afraid of… the afterlife was actually something to look forward to. Funerals were normal - so familiar to me, I never questioned why they were important. They were just a part of my existence - an accepted & essential part of life. My spiritual beliefs have changed and evolved significantly as I’ve aged, but at my core I still do not carry a deep fear of death with me.

For long time I yearned to be involved in death work and truly believed I had something to offer people who were grieving. I also felt fear and resistance because I didn’t know how to take care of myself properly whilst serving others in the death space.... a space which requires regular, deliberate and conscious self care.

Years passed as a marriage celebrant and the yearning and eagerness to be in the death realm could no longer be ignored. So I embarked on Death Doula training with Death Doula Australia, study with Zenith Virago at The Natural Death Care Centre, and Stephen Jenkinson - Orphan Wisdom. All masters of their respective fields in the death world.

I had countless conversations with people, I read countless books, did non-stop research… I was a woman obsessed. I did personal work to process grief, cleared out old belief systems and said goodbye to my modus operandi which no longer served me (and certainly wouldn’t serve my clients in the death/grief space) and got to a point where I knew very deeply that I was ‘ready’

As previously mentioned, I am a recovering ‘over-helper’, but I have to say it’s not difficult for me to maintain my healthy boundaries these days. I don’t have to TRY constantly. I seem to have truly made the necessary shift, so the tendency only rears its little head occasionally.

I have learned so many wonderful things, met remarkable people, been stretched and encouraged and most incredibly, been part of people’s experiences as they are at their most vulnerable. These experiences are sacred and the trust people place in me to be by their side during these times is breathtaking.

So, to those of you who have already welcomed me and trusted me, I say thank you and I look forward to continuing my work in this most beautiful space.