Why do funerals matter?

After listening to this fascinating snippet of ‘The Why Factor’ from the BBC, my mind was racing.
So, why do they matter so much - culturally, religiously, personally?

Growing up, death was a normal thing for me…simply part of life. And, due to my religious upbringing, death was not just something to NOT be afraid of… the afterlife was actually something to look forward to.

Funerals were normal - so familiar to me, I never questioned why they were important. They were just a part of my existence - an accepted & essential part of life.

In the same regard, I had never entertained the thought that when a person died a funeral wouldn’t be held. The idea was so foreign to me it had never entered my head.

The question of their importance wasn’t raised until two and a half years ago when I received a request from a family whose Matriarch & Patriarch died within a few months of each other. 
Before their deaths they were both very vocal & direct in telling their family they they were not to hold funerals upon their deaths. 

Eager to honour their wishes, the family didn’t hold funerals. As a result, the two generations of family members felt stuck in their grief. They felt prevented from moving forward in their lives. 

As I just mentioned, it may sound like a strange thing to say-but the possibility of not holding a funeral had never crossed my mind- in all my 42 years- that’s how ingrained this ritual was in my life, so I was incredibly keen to be of service to this family.

The family’s need to conduct some sort of ritual made so much sense to me… OF COURSE they needed to do something saying, “We have struggled with the thought that there was nothing official or no way to say goodbye and have closure, no way to celebrate their lives and share stories”

So, we set about creating a service that still respected the parent’s/ Grandparent’s wishes whilst honouring the family member’s own need to give voice to their grief, to give thanks, to honour them and to fare them well. 
It was an intimate, honest, happy & sad ceremony held on the family property next to the dam on which they spent many years frolicking as a family.
And it was EXACTLY what they needed. They felt freer, lighter and were able to move forward in their bereavement.

Our impulse to celebrate & honour life is ever present. It is undeniable and cannot be overlooked. Let’s celebrate and share stories as often as we can. 
♥️

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/w3csytzw?fbclid=IwAR1CQZaCYDmGssOIUJeoc6iE2jDlq7nGjFJljNISwtyKtFHUFfujTYH_dGI